Lack of posting.

So i realize i haven't written in almost a week now. I have a good reason, unfortunately I'm not about to share it on the Internet but just know it's a good one. Ive had to go through probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me and will have an effect on my life forever. I'm fine but it's hard. So i don't really have much to blog about at this second, just felt like filling in everyone on me doing okay even though i have had a lack of posting. I will blog soon, when I'm doing better... As always.

JayEhm

I love you?

Those three words, the three words that change everything. Do people not see it? Do people just think that i love you means nothing? Everyone uses those words so willingly. I love you has totally different meanings that can change everything for two people. When someone says i love you it could easily mean they just love the person, the person for who they are, they love their personality, they love being with them. I'm IN love with you now, now that's different. You can easily say i love you without being IN love with someone. It's when you have to determine weather or not you're IN love with a person or you just simply love them as a human being becomes the hard part, and for that matter what does love even mean? No one knows exactly because it's different for everyone. Some people will feel it differently then others. Some think they are IN love with someone but they could be completley wrong. It's like the soulmate thing. Someone could believe that they married their soulmate but their actual soulmate could be across the world and they could never meet them. Even then, a soulmate can be anyone, it could be your best friend. Anyways the point is, don't throw around I love you and don't think you have found your soulmate because chances are you haven't or you already have you just don't know it.

JayEhm.

Babe you belong with me.

After today i realized how lucky i am to have someone who can be so considerate and amazing. Someone who is so honest that yes at times hurts but it's necessary to keep our relationship grow. You amaze me every time i see you, every time we talk and just simply every day.

I feel like you have realized you belong with me, I'm the one who gets you, I'm the one who understands you, we can do this. You're amazing babe, you have such a good heart, you care about other people. Unfortunately don't make the smartest moves sometimes but honestly who does all the time? You care about me, which means a lot more to me then anything else. I need someone as amazing as you, as mature as you, as caring as you, i need you, for me. Our personalities line up so well, we have the same sense of humour, we can deal with sarcasm, we get each other, we know what we want. We want each other. Babe you're honestly amazing in every way. There's no way i could ever explain to you in words how great you really are. The only way to show you, to prove to you that i can deal, i can deal with everything. As long as we both work on what we need to do. We can be exactly what we wanted to be.


Babe we can be amazing. We can rule over all of this situation. We can beat the frustration. Babe you're absolutely amazing and I'm not ever going to leave you again. We deserve each other, and all that matters is that we have eachother now.


JayEhm.

XoxoxoxoX

Sorry is over rated.

Why is it that someone can say sorry and it's all good, it's fine. People just give in and accept the apology. The definition of sorry is to not do it again that you own up to your mistake and you truly are sorry. When people do wrong towards someone else this can be anything that makes one person feel bad.

My way of being sorry is showing the person that i really do apologize, changing what i did. Doing something to make it up to them, and when i say doing something to make it up to them i don't mean buy them something or do something materialistic. I mean really show them I'm sorry. Everyone just says sorry like it's going outta style. People need to realize there's more to sorry then just simply saying it. It's showing it, proving to them that you screwed up and that you won't do it again. Working hard for what you want, if you wronged someone special to you prove to them that they are worth your time and that you will do anything to make it up them. They need to see that you are sorry and not just hear it. I wish i could take back a lot of sorry's Ive said because i haven't ever shown them I'm sorry which ends up just not meaning anything, and for that I'm sorry.



JayEhm.

Missing you.

I miss you more then i should. I miss everything we had. I miss your laugh. I miss your touch. I miss your smile. I miss our fun times. I miss your gentle eyes. I miss the way we have fun. I miss how we can be open with each other. I miss just lying down together. I miss how awesome it felt just being with you. I miss everything it could've been. I miss the good times. I miss the bad times. Yes we had our issues, but honestly who doesn't now a days. I just want to refresh, start over. Without my insecurity. I know i ruined this. I'm well aware that my issues with your past coming back into what i had taken into my life ruined a lot of what we had. For that i am so sorry. Please just take this to heart, please think about it. I just want this to go back even though i know it never can. I care about you more then i ever thought i would. I miss you so much more then i ever thought i would. Babe, you're amazing, i bluffed, i want you back badly. I have a feeling you want the same. I'm ready for this to change. I really am. Let's do it, i know we can.


JayEhm.

& I was so right.

Yupp another waste of time, good thing i saw this one before attempting to rebound! Yayy Jenna. Guess ima still be stuck on complicated person #1. Awsome. Did i mention he's my neighbour? Yesss awsome to the extreme.

Yess that is all i had to say.


JayEhm.

Case of the Mondays

Happy Monday everyone. I woke up this morning all set to go, not tierd, not grumpy. I was set. Got on my bus, took my other bus then my other one, got to school then BAM weirdness. School turned my whole feelings around. I don't know what it is or why it happened, it just happened. Everyone seemed to have a case of the Mondays except me. Oh well, I'm going to try and keep up my good mood and maybe cheer others up and get them outta their funk. On another note a certain someone is being very odd and it's starting to cause me wonders. Got to school and was completely ignored, no hi no nothing. Random. Oh well I'm not letting myself make the same go chase after someone mistake again, it's not the way to go. Someone wants you, they should come to you. It's honestly about time i learn that and thanks to my past complications i took out some very good things. I learned patience and understanding more then anyone should ever learn, i learned to not waste my time, learned i should stick with my instincts and of course to go back and not trust anyone. That was my biggest mistake. Usually i tend to be very selective on who gets trust from me and who doesn't well folks, Jenna gave her trust very quickly to someone who didn't end up deserving it at all. You know what i got in return? A whole big fat load of nothing. So this time or any other time I'm just not going to let myself go, I'm going to be in control. I thought i was before with the last situation but i was highly mistaken. Well at least i got some learning out of it all. I hope everyone is having a great Monday and i will blog later on today I'm highly sure of it.



JayEhm.

Life isn't shitty all the time, just most of the time.

So I've realized that people don't tend to actually care or know much. Like in general, not about you, not about work, not about school it's just a feeling we have. Take this for example; "What do you wanna do today?" "Uh, i dunno i don't care." or "So do you have anything to say to that?" "I don't know." We use idc, idk all the time in texts, face book, msn, wherever.

It's kinda ridiculous because you would think people would know and care about what they want, don't want, need, don't need, feel, don't feel, but we don't. It doesn't help that people don't even have face to face interaction it's all done over text messages or face book. It's sad really seeing emotional and meaningful conversation just get flushed down the toilet while we all get sucked into every aspect of technology. Now not for a second am i gonna bash technology without stating how i use the term "face book me" or "inbox me" even "text me", it has come into our language so casually. I'm just saying how people can't actually express themselves anymore we have to hide behind cell phones, computers & laptops. The worst of it all is face book, like seriously I've seen face book ruin so many relationships because of all the drama that gets caused by others or just by your "change of relationship status". I changed mine this week due to some inconvenience in my relationship and now i have people texting me, face booking me, just simply generally talking to me more and they all start off by saying "I see you changed your relationship status." How bad is it that someone can't go single for more then 5 mins without being bothered. It's not like i was even classified as "In a relationship" I had put down "It's complicated" but yet within 5 mins i got messages asking am i alright, what happened, blah blah blah. What bothers me the most about technology and how anti social people get with each other even though it's beyond ironic that what we use is called social networking and social plans for cell phones, is that you can't read someones emotions or tons or facial expression over text, you have to be with the person to see it and it causes so much shit to the point where you could take the simplest sentence so wrong and it could start a huge fight.

The best way of describing today's way and how we use technology for everything was said in the movie "He's just not that into you" where one of the female characters is sick of dating with today's technology she says " I had a guy leave me a voice mail at work, so i called him at home, and then he emailed me to my blackberry, and so i texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting." Everyday someone is getting rejected by technology, it's no longer happening in person. Where has our personal contact gone? Oh i know, the only personal contact people get is after they go through all the bull over face book or over cell phone is a booty call. Pretty much to sum it all up, stop being so anti social everyone, take time to talk to people, get to know them. It will pay off in the long run, i promise.

JayEhm.

Cupcake Making

Picture taken by DDS Photography



Steph with a cupcake



Me with a cupcake




Cupcakes

Dinosaurs!

Cupcakes

Getting the icing ready

Yes we made them from a box, icing was from scratch though.

Stephy being silly with the beaters =]

Wait, Stop, Refresh.

Hello everyone, I have now officially restarted my blog. Why? Some may ask, well I got lazy and didn't ever write. So here I am, restarting, I even deleted all my other posts from before to refresh my blog. Later I will be posting the cupcake adventure i had with ddscutecakes (check her out) but for now I will just ramble on about anything. I am currently focusing on attending university for fall 2011. I plan on taking communications so i can work in Public Relations. We will see how this goes. Unfortunatly Im at Adult High School due to some misfortune I had as well as needing more university level courses to attend my program. But this will be bye for now. Promise to write soon.

JayEhm.